First off, my apologies to David Chapman Carpenter for stealing a line from his song "Dive", which is one of my all time favorites. But it's the only way I can express what I am feeling.
I have let my life get out of control in the past few years, and I am done. I am ready to take the reigns, and find a new direction on many fronts. I am committed to my financials (which are in the scary zone right now). I am committed to finding a partner in the world. I am committed to be happy again. And I am committed to my health. It all starts right here, right now.
I have been packing lunch with me, but falling into the temptation of holiday work treats, so that has to be corrected. I have also been having really bad dinners. I will work on that too.
I have a guy that I have been casually dating who I need to move--either out or in full time. I will set the ground work to let him decide what it will be.
As far as financials, well, it's going to be tricky for a bit. I do have to get some more gifts. But after that, total restriction. And I need to sell or unload my car somehow. Wish me luck on that.
OK, I feel better posting this to the world. Cross your fingers, wish me luck, I am taking the plunge starting today!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I Agree!
I must say, I am not always a huge fan of NYRR. Many times their staff gets very angry at runners. They make you jump through lots of hoops. They are expensive. But, in all fairness, they don't have an easy job with the location and number of runners the NYC area has to offer.
But the below post is enough to change my mind. I love Mary's response to a NY Times article where fast runners say people like me shouldn't run. I really love it. Well worded, well stated, and completely true. Diversity applies to more than just race, sexual orientation, ethnic background, etc.
http://tinyurl.com/yhacgok
"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."
- Will Rogers
But the below post is enough to change my mind. I love Mary's response to a NY Times article where fast runners say people like me shouldn't run. I really love it. Well worded, well stated, and completely true. Diversity applies to more than just race, sexual orientation, ethnic background, etc.
http://tinyurl.com/yhacgok
"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."
- Will Rogers
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Lazy lazy days
So I am in a lazy mode. Not sure why, but the weather is a good enough excuse for me. Of course, it's all about to end because I have a packed day ahead of me, but for right now it's nice to pretend that by being lazy I am not wreacking havoc on the rest of my day.
I am torn with letting someone go. My pride doesn't want to let it happen. I really wanted this to mean something. However, actions speak louder than words, and his actions are screaming at me right now. I think I will go ahead and do the date, but leave the ball in his court. I know he is about to go into a hugely busy period in his life, so it is only going to get worse from here. So I should let him go. Just do it, pull off the Band Aid. Ugh.
Or maybe I will just float with it for now and see what happens. But I hate the fade to black. I really do.
Dating sucks.
I am torn with letting someone go. My pride doesn't want to let it happen. I really wanted this to mean something. However, actions speak louder than words, and his actions are screaming at me right now. I think I will go ahead and do the date, but leave the ball in his court. I know he is about to go into a hugely busy period in his life, so it is only going to get worse from here. So I should let him go. Just do it, pull off the Band Aid. Ugh.
Or maybe I will just float with it for now and see what happens. But I hate the fade to black. I really do.
Dating sucks.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Online Dating
So I do online dating, as you already know. It works for me. Not sure why. It's not always easy, or fun, but I get to meet lots of people, expand my horizons, and always learn some interesting stuff about life, and myself, along the way. My latest account is set to expire soon (this month? next month? I don't even know), and I think I am going to take a breather after that again. Dating, whether on-line or in person, is a lot of work, and can be pretty draining. And although I haven't thrown in the towel or "got on the bench" yet, I have a few pieces of advice I would like to share with the men of the online dating world:
1. Guys, if you are going to wink at me, I will wink back IF you have a superstar profile. If your profile is way boring, short, or if I have any questions/doubts in any way about you, I will not show interest.
2. If you wink at me, and you get that wink back, if you follow up by sending a three word or otherwise lame e-mail, I will send back a comparable three word or lame e-mail. See where I am going with this? I am going to match your effort. If you don't put anymore effort out other than the minimum, we are not going anywhere.
3. It will take me about 2-3 e-mails before I go to a phone call. I generally like a phone conversation because I like to get a feel for you based on your voice. I have made one exception to this rule so far, and I have to admit it went well--I didn't meet a stalker, and lived to tell the tale. But I really do like the phone call.
4. Please get a life before you get on this site. I am not saying everyone who online dates has no life, but a lot of you guys don't. Have an activity. Have a passion. Do something fun, sporty, giving. Enjoy your job. If your life is crappy, take steps to fix it. If you are too embarassed to post a recent pic, clean up, fix up, lose weight, whatever you need to do to get yourself to a spot where you are cool with how you look.
That's all for now. Good luck, peeps, and remember, we date to have fun and meet people. I still hold onto the dream that it is possible.
1. Guys, if you are going to wink at me, I will wink back IF you have a superstar profile. If your profile is way boring, short, or if I have any questions/doubts in any way about you, I will not show interest.
2. If you wink at me, and you get that wink back, if you follow up by sending a three word or otherwise lame e-mail, I will send back a comparable three word or lame e-mail. See where I am going with this? I am going to match your effort. If you don't put anymore effort out other than the minimum, we are not going anywhere.
3. It will take me about 2-3 e-mails before I go to a phone call. I generally like a phone conversation because I like to get a feel for you based on your voice. I have made one exception to this rule so far, and I have to admit it went well--I didn't meet a stalker, and lived to tell the tale. But I really do like the phone call.
4. Please get a life before you get on this site. I am not saying everyone who online dates has no life, but a lot of you guys don't. Have an activity. Have a passion. Do something fun, sporty, giving. Enjoy your job. If your life is crappy, take steps to fix it. If you are too embarassed to post a recent pic, clean up, fix up, lose weight, whatever you need to do to get yourself to a spot where you are cool with how you look.
That's all for now. Good luck, peeps, and remember, we date to have fun and meet people. I still hold onto the dream that it is possible.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Fire in the HOLE!!!!!!!!!
So I wanted a snack at work. I did a race this past weekend, and the goodie bag contained something that you would expect in most half marathon race packs--microwave popcorn. Stupid? Yes. I mean, why put in Body Glide, band aids, Gatorade powder or Gu when you can give out microwave popcorn.
But I digress.
So I had this microwave popcorn in my desk drawer, and I wanted a snack, so I went to make my popcorn. Holy crow, I almost burned the building down. The stench of burnt popcorn is now stuck to my clothes.
Seriously, I was watching it the whole time. It was in there for less than 3 minutes, and the popping never stopped. I finally pulled the plug and decided to remove it from the microwave. The top part looked totally fine, but instead of steam coming out of the bag, there was smoke. Huh. What's up with that?
I waited about 2 minutes and the smoke didn't get any less. In fact, there were still random kernels popping. I ripped open the top of the bag and shook it a bit, and could see some burnt pieces. I then ripped the entire bag open, and below the pretty, fluffy popcorn on top was a ball of char that looks like what I imagine a burning meteor that hits the earth and lands in your yard would look like. A black, smoking ball, bumpy and scary. It was at least the size of a softball. I poured water on it, and it smoked and steamed like left over charcoal in your bbq.
Needless to say by now not only are my eyes watering, but burnt popcorn smoke has permeated the entire floor of my office building. I also have the smell of burnt popcorn on my hair, my clothes and my hands. Thank God there's no date tonight. I would hate be on someone else's blog as that burnt-popcorn-smelling girl. It's almost as bad as smelling like Doritos (like this girl I knew in the 6th grade).
But I digress.
So I had this microwave popcorn in my desk drawer, and I wanted a snack, so I went to make my popcorn. Holy crow, I almost burned the building down. The stench of burnt popcorn is now stuck to my clothes.
Seriously, I was watching it the whole time. It was in there for less than 3 minutes, and the popping never stopped. I finally pulled the plug and decided to remove it from the microwave. The top part looked totally fine, but instead of steam coming out of the bag, there was smoke. Huh. What's up with that?
I waited about 2 minutes and the smoke didn't get any less. In fact, there were still random kernels popping. I ripped open the top of the bag and shook it a bit, and could see some burnt pieces. I then ripped the entire bag open, and below the pretty, fluffy popcorn on top was a ball of char that looks like what I imagine a burning meteor that hits the earth and lands in your yard would look like. A black, smoking ball, bumpy and scary. It was at least the size of a softball. I poured water on it, and it smoked and steamed like left over charcoal in your bbq.
Needless to say by now not only are my eyes watering, but burnt popcorn smoke has permeated the entire floor of my office building. I also have the smell of burnt popcorn on my hair, my clothes and my hands. Thank God there's no date tonight. I would hate be on someone else's blog as that burnt-popcorn-smelling girl. It's almost as bad as smelling like Doritos (like this girl I knew in the 6th grade).
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thanks to a Butthead
So, last night I cancelled my dentist appointment and went out for some bevvies with my SI. SI has an ex that has been the hugest Butthead in America, and he made a timely reappearance on her radar over the weekend, so we went out for drinks. Good excuse to catch up, and maybe do some boy watching at watering hole where the service stinks but the odds are good. I did me a little walk to get up there, which sucked in 90 degrees heat, 80 percent humidity, and 600,000 tourists on the same sidewalk as me. I lasted about 2.5 miles before I hit the subway (which, usually once you get past the general pee smell in the station, the cars are often delightfully cool). We had our drinks, some food, and miserable service, and decided to find another location--particularly because we were outside and couldn't take it anymore.
We go to bar two (very important on a Monday night, folks, gotta support the economy) and some random guy (forever known as Country Club) sits down next to me. After some prodding from SI, and some strategic bar menu placement while he went to the bathroom (put the menu closer to him so I have to ask him to look at it, therefore inviting conversation and fodder--I know, I am as slick as a fifth grader--ladies watch your men!), we strike up a conversation. SI graciously bows out after an hour (God love her, great wingman that she is) (oh, and it's also flipping Monday night and it's 10 PM) and I continue to chat it up with Country Club.
Our opening conversation involved dating horror stories. Now I clearly had my story with Fish Boy still fresh from Sunday, and happily shared it. But I have to say Country Club's may have been worse. See, CC is from Florida, and was spending time out on Long Island for vacation. He met this chick who lives out there when she was in Florida a few months back, and apparently they had been planning on meeting up and spending a few days together out on Block Island or Montauk or something like that--had done the phone/e-mail thing, made plans, blah blah blah. They meet up at a bar, and it turns out when she meets him, she made a mistake. The whole time they were talking long distance, she thought he was someone else. Not only does she admit this, but apparently stumbles all over it, and of course, CC is like WTF? He says she nice and hot, but just nothing going on upstairs. Needless to say they have dinner, have a nice time, and go their separate ways. Instead of staying out on the Island, CC decides to head into the city for a few days (hence us meeting him at the random bar). Apparently the chick has been calling all day apologizing and trying to get together, and CC is totally ignoring her.
What a sucky story! I mean, no matter how dumb you are, you can't fake it that this is the guy the whole time you were talking to, and then either fake an illness or an emergency? My guess would be that CC didn't come up here just for her, but it was probably a part of it. Anywho, clearly crappy dates can go both ways--I actually felt the need to apologize on behalf of all women to CC, because I thought that stunk. He was apologizing for Fish Boy, but I told him one guy not having a personality or the ability to hold a conversation was not indicitive of the entire male species, and therefore the apology was not necessary (but definitely appreciated).
Lesson? Someone's crappy date can make my already great evening turn into a fantastic one. I had a great time talking with CC for hours, and we exchanged contact info. So, shout out to the dumb lady on Long Island--thanks for being an idiot and letting me look good!
Oh, and I actually have something nice to say to Butthead. Thanks to you being an idiot, I had a great night.
We go to bar two (very important on a Monday night, folks, gotta support the economy) and some random guy (forever known as Country Club) sits down next to me. After some prodding from SI, and some strategic bar menu placement while he went to the bathroom (put the menu closer to him so I have to ask him to look at it, therefore inviting conversation and fodder--I know, I am as slick as a fifth grader--ladies watch your men!), we strike up a conversation. SI graciously bows out after an hour (God love her, great wingman that she is) (oh, and it's also flipping Monday night and it's 10 PM) and I continue to chat it up with Country Club.
Our opening conversation involved dating horror stories. Now I clearly had my story with Fish Boy still fresh from Sunday, and happily shared it. But I have to say Country Club's may have been worse. See, CC is from Florida, and was spending time out on Long Island for vacation. He met this chick who lives out there when she was in Florida a few months back, and apparently they had been planning on meeting up and spending a few days together out on Block Island or Montauk or something like that--had done the phone/e-mail thing, made plans, blah blah blah. They meet up at a bar, and it turns out when she meets him, she made a mistake. The whole time they were talking long distance, she thought he was someone else. Not only does she admit this, but apparently stumbles all over it, and of course, CC is like WTF? He says she nice and hot, but just nothing going on upstairs. Needless to say they have dinner, have a nice time, and go their separate ways. Instead of staying out on the Island, CC decides to head into the city for a few days (hence us meeting him at the random bar). Apparently the chick has been calling all day apologizing and trying to get together, and CC is totally ignoring her.
What a sucky story! I mean, no matter how dumb you are, you can't fake it that this is the guy the whole time you were talking to, and then either fake an illness or an emergency? My guess would be that CC didn't come up here just for her, but it was probably a part of it. Anywho, clearly crappy dates can go both ways--I actually felt the need to apologize on behalf of all women to CC, because I thought that stunk. He was apologizing for Fish Boy, but I told him one guy not having a personality or the ability to hold a conversation was not indicitive of the entire male species, and therefore the apology was not necessary (but definitely appreciated).
Lesson? Someone's crappy date can make my already great evening turn into a fantastic one. I had a great time talking with CC for hours, and we exchanged contact info. So, shout out to the dumb lady on Long Island--thanks for being an idiot and letting me look good!
Oh, and I actually have something nice to say to Butthead. Thanks to you being an idiot, I had a great night.
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