Why's it gotta be so hard?

So not sure what happened in the past few days, but I have been HUNGRY. I mean, HUNGRY. I just want to eat and eat and eat! I have controlled it for the most part, but definitely had three too many snacks, and I just had an ice cream melt down. So I know I haven't been exercising a lot, so this hunger is emotional. And it's nice to recognize that, and I even know the burning question that is causing it--and it will continue throughout this weekend. Now I just need to figure out the steps to work around it. Not sure why I have to make this so hard. You know, I just have to decide the direction of my life for the next twenty years or so. That's all. No big whoop.

Sigh. I love/hate long term commitments.

So maybe I got this wrong

So here I am thinking that maybe I got this whole thing wrong. What exactly is love anyhow? What is the fairy tale? Is there a fairy tale? Or is it just stupid nonsense? I want the true love, the connection that you make with a perfect stranger who is hot and rocks your world, and then you talk to and meet and they are everything you ever wanted. But everytime I find someone I fall off the cliff for, they turn out to be crazy. I mean, genuinely psycho. Something is really wrong with them. So I am considering changing my outlook. Maybe I find a nice guy. See if we have a lot in common, a bunch to teach other, if we share interests, if we mesh. And if we do, maybe cultivate it. Work to find the positives, the common ground, the respect and love, the joy, the happiness, the love and support. And maybe when that all happens, we have a wonderful, beautiful mutual relationship built on love respect and trust. And maybe it will be way different than that fairy tale, but so much better. And so much longer. And then 30 years from now, when the kids are out of college or settled into whatever life they have chosen for themselves, we head out to hike and snowboard and continue to enjoy each other, our adventures, our ideas, our love. And it is amazing and wonderful.

Or I just have another glass of wine, fine Joel McHale and convince him I the woman of his dreams.

Something like that.

Sigh. I guess I will keep on chugging along.