Fire in the HOLE!!!!!!!!!

So I wanted a snack at work. I did a race this past weekend, and the goodie bag contained something that you would expect in most half marathon race packs--microwave popcorn. Stupid? Yes. I mean, why put in Body Glide, band aids, Gatorade powder or Gu when you can give out microwave popcorn.

But I digress.

So I had this microwave popcorn in my desk drawer, and I wanted a snack, so I went to make my popcorn. Holy crow, I almost burned the building down. The stench of burnt popcorn is now stuck to my clothes.

Seriously, I was watching it the whole time. It was in there for less than 3 minutes, and the popping never stopped. I finally pulled the plug and decided to remove it from the microwave. The top part looked totally fine, but instead of steam coming out of the bag, there was smoke. Huh. What's up with that?

I waited about 2 minutes and the smoke didn't get any less. In fact, there were still random kernels popping. I ripped open the top of the bag and shook it a bit, and could see some burnt pieces. I then ripped the entire bag open, and below the pretty, fluffy popcorn on top was a ball of char that looks like what I imagine a burning meteor that hits the earth and lands in your yard would look like. A black, smoking ball, bumpy and scary. It was at least the size of a softball. I poured water on it, and it smoked and steamed like left over charcoal in your bbq.

Needless to say by now not only are my eyes watering, but burnt popcorn smoke has permeated the entire floor of my office building. I also have the smell of burnt popcorn on my hair, my clothes and my hands. Thank God there's no date tonight. I would hate be on someone else's blog as that burnt-popcorn-smelling girl. It's almost as bad as smelling like Doritos (like this girl I knew in the 6th grade).